The Haunted Shed

WALT: show not tell

WALT: use adverbs

In the numbing fog, a shape appeared, it was a house and there was a huge shape behind it. The shape was as big as a small apartment. Its green branches swayed in the cold breeze. The house was like a hut. I pushed a door, which was more like a rusted piece of steel. I stepped inside the old shack and the floorboards creaked and could give way. My face was blue and purple. I walked forward to investigate the hut and something hot hit my face and I slipped down and I hit the floorboards which finally gave way and I fell down a shaft at least 5 meters down. At the bottom was a shaft, complete with minecart rail and minecart. I jumped in and I hit the stand just before I realised that I ran out of track and there was a huge hole in the track “WHY MEEEEEEE!!” I yelled as My minecart hit the bottom and it zoomed downhill “ARRRRRRGGGG!” I yelled and I saw the end. sharp obsidian rocks. I smashed into the obsidian and a huge shard came flying at me. BEEP BEEP BEEP. I woke up. I was alive! until I saw the red bundle of things saying Dynamite. KABOOM! It detonated and threw everything everywhere I was thrown the way I came by the explosion I came and was under the hole in the floorboards. I climbed up the shaft and at the top was the room that I explored first. There was a sound of metal on rock. I slowly walked outside to find the sound, I carefully walked around the corner and there it wasn't! All I saw was a whitebait net. I tried to pull it out off the swampy river but I pulled myself in! The river was deeper than I thought but I found a shallow spot! I walked there but the river started rising? That was when I realised that I was standing in quicksand! “HELP” I yelled but no answer came until a person walked out of the bush from behind the rusted heap and he carried a huge barrel boasting the words “warning quicksilver” “MERCURY!” I yelled and he undid the top and poured the  mercury into the river. Just in case you don’t know mercury (or quicksilver) is highly toxic and will kill people easy. The mercury hit the river and the river turned blood red. I couldn't decide what was worse, dying of quicksand or quicksilver then a strange tug came as the blood red liquid hit me and I remembered that mercury made you float. I came to the top of the quicksilver contaminated water and I took a huge breath but I swallowed lots of quicksilver! AAARRRGGG! I yelled on the river bank as the mercury sank in and forced my life out and I died.

Not.

First aid kits are very useful.

It had a counter-quicksilver serum.

YAY!

THE END.

Tap water is now contaminated with quicksilver so don’t drink it!

ITS THE END!

THE END.

For real this time!